Interview: Ibu Vini Tri Ningtyas

Vini Tri Ningtyas is a 23 year old teacher at SPH KV. Her parents are both Indonesian, and still currently resides Indonesia. She enjoys teaching younger  children and older children, but spends the majority of her time teaching teenagers.

How is your relationship between you and your grandparents?
"Well, I never really had a long relationship with them. My grandparents from my mom's side passed away when I was very young, and my grandparents from my dad's side also passed away a few years later."

What is your favorite memory of you with your grandparents?
"I remember there was one time where they bought me ice cream. I know it doesn't sound like much, but it meant a lot to me while I was younger, and it still means a lot to me today."

Do you often meet your grandparents?
"While they were alive, we would meet quite regularly. Even though we lived quite far from each other, they would often make the effort to visit me and my family."

What is your relationship with your parents?
"To tell the truth, our family was rather divided. My mother's side was mainly Muslim, but my father was Christian. As a result, my father and my mother's side were rather conflicted about it, and the situation stayed that way until my grandparents passed away."

Are you aware a lot of grandparents/elderly people in other countries are not treated well?

"Yes, I had heard about it, but I've never really seen it in real life. I know this happens a lot in Western countries, but it's uncommon in Asian countries. From my experience, grandparents will stay with their children, along with their grandchildren."

What do you think about the way Western grandparents/elders are treated in other countries?
"I think it depends a lot with the way you are brought up. Depending on the way your parents treated their parents, you will probably be influenced to do something similar. Otherwise, you can't really blame someone for the way they treat their elders."

Why do you think grandparents/elders are treated that way in those countries?
"I think it's cause their societies just don't see them as important anymore. Because they don't really contribute to society, they just lose interest in the elderly. Again, I think the way they're brought up also plays a big role with the way they treat their elderly. And because of this, the cycle just goes on, and on, and on, and the elderly never seem to be really respected."

If you had the power to change this, what would you do?
"Well, I would open up a foundation that aided the elderly with stuff like this. As a matter of fact, my foster parents opened a foundation that allows grandparents to feel welcome, an old parent's home for those elders who aren't taken cared for. I would like to do something like that."

What advice would you give people who have bad relationships with their grandparents/elders?
"Try to approach them, you shouldn't have to ask them to approach you. To build a good relationship with them, it should be you that approaches them. Ask them how they're doing, and just how their lives are. I think that's a good place to start."